Perhaps I should clarify...

Some have asked if I wrote the quote below. Regrettably, I did not. I wasn't quite sure if author Jan Meyers wrote it, but most likely it was penned by her dear heart. In order to give her due credit, I've picked out some quotes from her book "The Allure of Hope: God's Pursuit of a Woman's Heart" to share with you. These are important truths that speak volumes about how I feel, and if we are honest with ourselves, how we all feel from time to time.

"...hope is something that rises up inside of us with a gentle strength that requires a response."

"Our longing to die, to suffer the loss of self, to relinquish all we hold in our control--this is abandonment to the Spirit. This is worship."

"In our fear that no one will speak on our behalf or protect us or fight for us, we start to re-create both ourselves and our role in the story."

"We quietly question whether there is enough loveliness in us to keep others engaged with our hearts."

I often wonder if I am captivating enough, lovely enough, strong enough to keep the interests of others. I have to believe that I am because God hasn't stopped pursuing me, or loving me. It's in those clear and heavy moments of lonliness that I find His stillness. I am trying to control while He is trying to teach me to give it up and just hope, knowing that my desires are meaningful, but they are nothing apart from Him. Entering into heartache and suffering is not fun, but it allows us to be set free into the beautiful act of worship. Will you meet me there?