The Beauty Discovers Her Role
A while back, I spoke on the idea of pursuit and how men and women both have equally important, but quite different roles to play in that journey. If you recall, I reminded men that pursuing the women they want should never stop the moment they say "I do," but rather, should continue on through marriage just as Christ continues to pursue us every day. Now, for all the women who might take a quick glance at this post, I will speak to you.
I just read this chapter from a book sitting on my end table about the mystery of women and why we often give too much away too quickly. It got me thinking--have I given too much away too fast? Is it possible that perhaps the mystery of this green-eyed girl is not so much a mystery afterall? And yeah, I'm sure we all say too much. It's often the nature of a woman to want to communicate in depthly. It's just the way we are wired. But isn't part of the excitement of dating knowing that there's this person in front of you who you still discover new and awesome things about? So, ladies, part of our role in the great pursuit of a man is to keep the mystery. This doesn't, by any shape of the word, mean that you lie or keep important things from him. On the contrary, mystery is what reveals the truth. There are specific stages in a relationship where you give more and more of who you are to that other person. What's left to give if you give it all away in the beginning, right?
So some mystery equals good. We got that part. But that can't be all of our role. Thank goodness it's not. It's just the beginning.
When a man first pursues you, it is your role to show him he's doing a good job. This can be revealed through words or actions, but be sure both are very clear. The last thing you want is a date who isn't quite sure if you're feeling him or not. My friend said recently that her now husband just barely asked her out for their second date because he was unsure as to if she even wanted to be on the first one. Little touches or a simple, "This has been a really great date," will speak volumes to the man who feels as if he's being graded on every move he makes. Men need to be assurred they're doing a good job, and it is our role to both encourage them, and to let them know when they are not. Once you've past those first few encounters, have become boyfriend and girlfriend, and have gone into the realm of comfort, it is here where our role becomes tricky. We feel like we've landed our man and so our pursuit of the warrior stops. Men, do you want our pursuit of you to stop? Be honest. You enjoy it when your girl makes special gestures towards you, whether they be a sweet note from time to time, or a surprise kiss that just makes you melt. You like those moments when you feel as if you're still chasing after the woman you love. I suppose this is where mystery can play a factor, as well. So, when you get to this stage, be sure to keep the excitement and just keep him guessing. That looks different for each person, but be creative and keep that pursuit going.
I want to be sure those who read this know that the male and female roles in a relationship can not be summarized on a blog post. They can't even be summarized in the thousands of books that have been written on the topic. But I have learned a few things in this life and I know that each role is exciting and should be thought of as a continual process. Men, a woman desires her companion to never stop seeking her out because it reminds her that she is captivating and worth the pursuit. Women, a man desires a little mystery, a woman who will encourage and respect him because it reminds him that he's winning this race and you're there cheering him on. The cool thing about all of this is, you don't have to do the whole relationship thing on your own. You've got the One who invented pursuit right there with you. Who better to ask for advice on this journey than the God who longs more for relationships with us than we can even fathom?
