Did I Hear You Correctly?

If someone would have said to me this time last year, "Amanda, you're getting married next June," I would have laughed in their face, all the while hoping that perhaps they knew something I didn't. I have been single for 27 years. Some were better than others, but as I look back at my early to mid twenties, I sometimes wonder how I made it. There was a lot of heartache, many tears, but I had a faith that kept me going. And as I look at my life the past two years, I am amazed to see the passion of our God towards my heart. I now see why I went through the struggles I faced and the messiness that I encountered. It sounds trite, I know. Maybe even a little too "Christianese." But man, is it ever true. You often don't see the work of God during heartache, but afterwards when you're in a place of rest and peace. The woman I am today is due, in part, to the things in life I faced the past eight years. I was obedient to Christ when I didn't understand what was happening. I was faithful, even when I felt tired of believing. I fought and when I couldn't fight anymore, I had people in my corner with gloves on, ready to face those giants with me. To that, I am eternally grateful.

And now, at age 27, I find myself in a place I had always dreamt...a place that my heart has so longed for, but deep down was quite skeptical would ever come. I am going to make a life-long convenant with the man who I have prayed for since I was a little girl. I knew I wanted to marry Wes after just the second date. We had corresponded through email, IM, and the phone before we ever met face-to-face, and I often told people he was everything I've ever wanted in a husband...on paper. He is kind and sweet, funny and spontaneous, handsome and charming, he loves God, believes in his role as the spiritual leader and is excited about that adventure with me, and he totally brings out my femininity in ways I never knew existed. And when we finally did have those first dates, I knew this was it for me. Over the course of six months, I fell in love with him and what surprised me most of all, he fell in love with me. But the surprise was not based on low self-esteem or lack of love for my own heart, but came because the message of my wound was "You aren't captivating enough for someone to love you." I've had that lie thrown at me time and time again and for a long time, I believed it. But once I started to examine my wound, and once I began to allow someone's love to penetrate my heart, I realized that I am captivating. Wes enjoys me for who I am, and I love him for that. He finds me beautiful and funny, sweet and selfless, desirable and lovely. And he wants to marry me...wow. I need to let that sink in for a second. Wes wants to marry me. It's hard to believe something that goes against what you have believed for so long. I'm someone who is desired by a man? Heck yeah I am. The truth really does set you free...

The Ring

I will post more later, but for now, I wanted to share with the blogworld that Wes proposed this past Saturday! Here is a picture of the ring. Ahhhhh...my love :)