Control, Alt, Delete

Lately, I have found myself with a strong desire to completely pound on my "control, alt, delete" buttons at work. A heavy sigh comes over me, I watch my index finger as it heads towards those three little keys, almost as if it were in slow motion in a really bad John Woo film, and then it happens. You Dilbert fans know what I'm talking about. The phone rings. "I need the status on this project ASAP." ASAP...post heed. However you want to say it, the acronym just makes you cringe. You know what I want ASAP? A day off each week, like the Europeans. Maybe an extra long chili dog with a guarantee that I won't gain five pounds. Or even better, a trip to Italy or some remote island paradise. What's the status on those projects, huh? I'd better get started on them. I don't want to end up like a bald comic icon in the newspaper.