The Mandolin's Musician

2007-11-11T18:55:00.000-08:00

New Blog

So, it's too difficult keeping up two blogs, so check our our "new" one at

www.barstoolsforsale.blogspot.com

See ya!

2007-08-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

Two Days and Counting

There I was, two days before my wedding and hardly stressed. My mom had come the day before to help Wes and I finalize buying the things left for the big day. There wasn't much left, thank goodness. But we did need to pick up one of my great friends and bridesmaids, Rebekah, from the St. Louis airport. So the three of us headed for a five hour round trip to the Arch City. When we got back, my dear friend and Matron of Honour, Sarah, had arrived and the fun was just beginning. Not too long after, Wes' parents and nephew Christian pulled up to the house. Chaos continued. This was the first time my mom had met any of Wes' family, and they all embraced one another with warmth, just as family should. My mom, Sarah, Rebekah and I proceeded to make some delicious spaghetti, spinach dip, and garlic bread. We all ate, enjoyed the company, and opened some of the presents my future parents-in-law brought. They gave us this amazing Tiffany lamp that is now in our bedroom. Super cool and very "Gilmore Girls, Dragon Fly Inn." By 9pm, we were all beat. Wes went back to the hotel with his parents, my mom took our spare bedroom, Sarah our specious master bedroom, and Rebekah and I slept on our two couches. It was like a slumber party. Just one last full day before I became Mrs. Wesley Wilson! I couldn't wait...nor could I sleep.

2007-08-16T18:27:00.000-07:00

The day I said "I Do"

First, I must apologize. I have had some problems with blogger. Nothing personal really...just with my username and password. I believe I have it figured out though, so I'm ready to get blogging again.

As you know, I am no longer a single woman. I can choose "married" on forms, say "husband" and mean it, and I get to grocery shop for two. I got to marry the man of my dreams and I want to share that special day with you. But it's too much for one post, so I have decided to break it into five parts. They will be as follows:

Post 1--Two days before the wedding, Thursday the 21st
Post 2--Wedding Eve, Friday the 22nd
Post 3--Wedding Day, Morning, Saturday the 23rd
Post 4--Wedding Day, Afternoon, Saturday the 23rd
Post 5--Wedding Day, Evening; Morning After, Sunday the 24th
Post 6--Mini Honeymoon, Sunday the 24 through Tuesday the 26th

It's important to know the course of the days leading up to the wedding, as well as the few days following. It was lovely and I can't wait to share it all with you.

So shall we?

2007-06-06T15:24:00.000-07:00

Too Long to just say Hello

I know...I know. You're saying to yourself, "Amanda, what the? Where the heck have you been?" I've been busy...that's where I've been.

May 1st represented the first day I was officially living in IL. Wes and I moved me over here over the course of April and let me tell you, that was the most stressful four weeks of my life. I was planning a wedding, preparing for the close on my house, moving, and dealing with the emotions that come with leaving the place with which you're most familiar and starting a new life in a new place. We had to get the water turned on, the cable and Internet connected, the electricity switched to our names. We had to deal with the most frustrating media company ever (to which I owe them a big "thank you" to the few gray hairs I have found recently).

But as I sit and type all of the stress that we encountered, I am reminded that it's all over now. I was stressed for four weeks, and now I'm fine. I'm enjoying our new place, a new change of scenery, growing closer to Wes and preparing to be his wife, learning to love in new and exciting ways. I am so very blessed...and so very thankful.

And now we only have two weeks and four days until the wedding. I've been thinking recently about how I'm about to be a bride, a wife, and it feels weird in a really good way, you know? I mean, I've never been those things before, so it's a little hard to wrap my mind around. But I love it.

And after June 23rd, I'll be posting more and probably only a few will revolve around the wedding (for those of you who just sighed relief, you're welcome).

I'm looking forward to sharing with you blogging peeps in the upcoming months. It will be way cool.

2007-03-14T12:28:00.000-07:00

~Countdown~
3 Months, 8 Days, 9 Hours, 25 Minutes until I marry the most amazing man in the entire world!

2007-03-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

Worship

This past weekend, Wes and I took some Junior High students to a youth conference in St. Louis. It was loud and music-driven, passionate and fun. Three great messages were given by a guy named Marco (Polo) who has worked with Jr. High students for like 25 years or something. There were skits that challenged you, moments of reflection that hopefully helped kids grow in their faith, and there was, by far, more worship through song than I've ever experienced.

And this whole weekend really reminded me why I'm running the race with Christ. I mean, I'm old enough to know why I believe the things I believe, and not just follow a "religion" in which my parents raised me. I have engaged in a faith that I know to be true. And what is so awesome is that, at the Jr. High age, kids are just now coming into their own faith. They are beginning to understand their beliefs and how it all fits together, and they are so unashamed of their worship. One of the 6th graders on the trip just humbled me completely. Her worhsip was so authentic and beautiful. There was no fear of what others thought, no showy intimacy. It was just her and God and it was beautiful. To see someone at her age truly engaging in the race that Hebrews mentions blows my mind. I'm beginning to love these kids and I can't wait to see their journeys unfold.

2007-03-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

Hello, I love you won't you tell me your name...

For those of you who were just aching to see a picture of the greatest man alive, I thought I would be nice and share it with you.

2007-03-01T15:18:00.000-08:00

I Should Be Getting Paid For This

I love planning my wedding. I really do. It's a constant reminder that I am actually getting married and I am the happiest I have ever been. But with planning comes work, opinions, budgeting, organizing, arranging, and anyting else that ends in "-ing." Last night, I was going through the wedding planner my future mother-in-law bought for me and I was getting so excited about everything, but so overwhelmed by it all, too. I'm the kind of person who is incredibly laid back until it comes to an event where other people are involved. For example, I threw, along with two other girls, a wedding Shower for my friend Sarah and although I had such a fun time doing it, I was more stressed because it was for her and there were other people who would be experiencing that Shower with us. If it were my shower and I threw it for myself with no one else invited, well...I wouldn't make a big fuss. It would be just me and we all know how much fun I am. But other people will be coming to my wedding and so I feel a sense of duty to make it original and lovely. I mean, I want it to be original and lovely, and I love planning and seeing it all come together with Wes, but as all brides know, it can be overwhelming. But in those times I remind myself that people won't remember what the candles looked like, how the tables were arranged, how pretty the cake looked, or if our grandmas wore corsages. No...It is my hope they remember the message of our special day: God is love and He is so worthy of our praise. I will definitely be toasting to that on June 23rd, 2007.

2007-02-27T19:48:00.000-08:00

Did I Hear You Correctly?

If someone would have said to me this time last year, "Amanda, you're getting married next June," I would have laughed in their face, all the while hoping that perhaps they knew something I didn't. I have been single for 27 years. Some were better than others, but as I look back at my early to mid twenties, I sometimes wonder how I made it. There was a lot of heartache, many tears, but I had a faith that kept me going. And as I look at my life the past two years, I am amazed to see the passion of our God towards my heart. I now see why I went through the struggles I faced and the messiness that I encountered. It sounds trite, I know. Maybe even a little too "Christianese." But man, is it ever true. You often don't see the work of God during heartache, but afterwards when you're in a place of rest and peace. The woman I am today is due, in part, to the things in life I faced the past eight years. I was obedient to Christ when I didn't understand what was happening. I was faithful, even when I felt tired of believing. I fought and when I couldn't fight anymore, I had people in my corner with gloves on, ready to face those giants with me. To that, I am eternally grateful.

And now, at age 27, I find myself in a place I had always dreamt...a place that my heart has so longed for, but deep down was quite skeptical would ever come. I am going to make a life-long convenant with the man who I have prayed for since I was a little girl. I knew I wanted to marry Wes after just the second date. We had corresponded through email, IM, and the phone before we ever met face-to-face, and I often told people he was everything I've ever wanted in a husband...on paper. He is kind and sweet, funny and spontaneous, handsome and charming, he loves God, believes in his role as the spiritual leader and is excited about that adventure with me, and he totally brings out my femininity in ways I never knew existed. And when we finally did have those first dates, I knew this was it for me. Over the course of six months, I fell in love with him and what surprised me most of all, he fell in love with me. But the surprise was not based on low self-esteem or lack of love for my own heart, but came because the message of my wound was "You aren't captivating enough for someone to love you." I've had that lie thrown at me time and time again and for a long time, I believed it. But once I started to examine my wound, and once I began to allow someone's love to penetrate my heart, I realized that I am captivating. Wes enjoys me for who I am, and I love him for that. He finds me beautiful and funny, sweet and selfless, desirable and lovely. And he wants to marry me...wow. I need to let that sink in for a second. Wes wants to marry me. It's hard to believe something that goes against what you have believed for so long. I'm someone who is desired by a man? Heck yeah I am. The truth really does set you free...

2007-02-02T13:21:00.000-08:00

The Ring

I will post more later, but for now, I wanted to share with the blogworld that Wes proposed this past Saturday! Here is a picture of the ring. Ahhhhh...my love :)

2007-01-09T17:12:00.000-08:00

Moving and Other Things To Do in 2007

A while ago, I wrote that I was trying to determine where I was to move to, as I was growing very tired of Evansville. Of course, since I'm going to marry the greatest man, I have decided to make Carbondale, IL my new, yet temporary home. Wes and I are going to get my house ready to sell no later than late February and hopefully it will sell rather quickly. I will then pack up my belongings and either move into an apt with a six month lease, or stay with some people from Wes' church until we find the apt that we want to make our home. What else?? Let's see...

1. Wedding stuff
2. Search for a new apt with Wes
3. Figure out the job situation
4. Acclamate to a new church and city
5. Budget, budget, budget
6. Plan a Colorado honeymoon
7. Meet with a mentor couple for pre-marital counseling

All of the things above are things I've waited and waited for for so long. When I think about the words husband and wife and their meanings, I can't tell you what an honor and priviledge it is to be discussing them and dreaming about them with Wes. Man...I'm so thankful. God has been so present through all of this and it's amazing to see Him working. Thank you, Lord. Thank you...

2007-01-09T16:51:00.000-08:00

Life is So Good

Well, it's been a little over a month since I last posted and I have to say, much has happened. In early December, Wes and I put up my Christmas tree, had hot apple cider, and watched "A Christmas Vacation." It was so much fun and we've decided it will be a tradition for years to come. I finished my shopping early (and by early I mean about three days before Christmas), completed Wes' special scrapbook that I made for the two of us, and experienced a candle light service unlike any other. The cool thing about this Christmas was the fact that on Christmas day, Wes and I drove to Oklahoma, his home state, and spent four days with his family. They were so wonderful and made me feel at ease and welcome. It was much fun. On that Wednesday night, we walked along Utica Square where we spoke of our desire to marry the other and of kids, houses, missions, and our love. It was so amazing. We looked at rings and figured out what we want to do for our honeymoon. I have to say, this is all so amazingly wonderful. I realized that, after twenty-seven years, I just didn't think it was ever going to happen. I didn't think that someone was going to love me and cherish me the way Wes does, but it's real and I am so happy because of it. We both have prayed for so many years that God would provide a husband/wife who would love us the way we love each other. It's a beautiful thing and I am so fortunate to be the woman who has this man. Our engagement is supposedly coming sooner rather than later, and even though I have an idea of what my ring will look like and I know that Wes will propose, I don't know when or how and that's the exciting part. I love surprises and he is definitely good at giving them to me. So, within the next month or so, don't be surprised to find one of the coolest posts I will ever write found right here on this blog. And stay tuned for a new blog coming to you that Wes and I will share. 2007 is going to be a huge year for me and I plan on taking you guys with me on the adventure :).

2006-11-27T17:56:00.000-08:00

The Joy of the Season

I love December. The cold weather, the warmth of a fireplace or a nice blanket, the lights, the Christmas trees, hot chocolate. I enjoy decorating my tree, looking at all the festive houses (minus those annoying and quite tacky blow-up figurines of snowmen and Santa sitting in front yards), and singing Christmas songs. I'm especially looking forward to this December because I get to spend it with someone I am just crazy about. It's going to be a wonderful time and I can't wait to share it with him. Wes knows how important he is to me, and I can't tell you how thankful I am to have him in my life. This Christmas, I will continue to show him my heart as he shows me his. To you, my sweet, I remind you that I am yours. That's a pretty good present if you ask me ;).

2006-11-15T16:08:00.000-08:00

bEauty in ViSual FoRM

Wes surprised me with a dozen roses on Friday. They were an array of fall colours and are just breathtaking. I wanted to share the picture I took of them here and to let everyone know just how great this man truly is. Not just because he gave me flowers, but because he's kind and generous and enjoys me and loves our God. He's great for so many more reasons, but I'll leave that for some other post...

2006-11-15T16:01:00.000-08:00

Weight Lifting and Badminton

So lately, weight lifting and badminton have been on my mind and I have to say, they're both so very enjoyable. What are the highlights of these extra-curricular activities you ask? Let's review them here:

1. You can do both of them just about anywhere
2. They're both better when done in pairs
3. They inspire and invoke passion when done correctly
4. You can talk and laugh and smile while doing them

Yes, I'm a fan. Weight lifting and badminton--I'll be doing them again soon.

2006-11-05T19:27:00.000-08:00

~How I'm Feeling~

Friday morning all alone
One by one the stars each say goodbye
Yeah pictures and a thousand words
A thousand miles turning into song

And I want you to know I feel lucky to know you
Cut open my heart
And you'll see that it's true
I want you to know I feel lucky to know you
I feel lucky to know you

Yeah summer fades into fall
And with it
Came the writing on the wall
So I sent a thousand letters on the
Backs of silver angels through the sky

And I want you to know I feel lucky to know you
Cut open my heart And you'll see that it's true
I want you to know I feel lucky to know you
I feel lucky to know you

I took a drive it's what I do
And wrote another song for you
The things we want
The things we crave
We have no choice the choice is made

And I want you to know I feel lucky to know you
Cut open my heart And you'll see that it's true
I want you to know I feel lucky to know you
I feel lucky to know you I feel lucky to know...

Friday morning all alone
And one by one
The stars each say goodbye

--"Lucky to Know You"--Blue Merle

2006-10-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I should clarify...

Some have asked if I wrote the quote below. Regrettably, I did not. I wasn't quite sure if author Jan Meyers wrote it, but most likely it was penned by her dear heart. In order to give her due credit, I've picked out some quotes from her book "The Allure of Hope: God's Pursuit of a Woman's Heart" to share with you. These are important truths that speak volumes about how I feel, and if we are honest with ourselves, how we all feel from time to time.

"...hope is something that rises up inside of us with a gentle strength that requires a response."

"Our longing to die, to suffer the loss of self, to relinquish all we hold in our control--this is abandonment to the Spirit. This is worship."

"In our fear that no one will speak on our behalf or protect us or fight for us, we start to re-create both ourselves and our role in the story."

"We quietly question whether there is enough loveliness in us to keep others engaged with our hearts."

I often wonder if I am captivating enough, lovely enough, strong enough to keep the interests of others. I have to believe that I am because God hasn't stopped pursuing me, or loving me. It's in those clear and heavy moments of lonliness that I find His stillness. I am trying to control while He is trying to teach me to give it up and just hope, knowing that my desires are meaningful, but they are nothing apart from Him. Entering into heartache and suffering is not fun, but it allows us to be set free into the beautiful act of worship. Will you meet me there?

2006-10-17T18:58:00.000-07:00

"We are far more disciplined than we are at rest, far more committed than winsome, far more nice than passionate, far more dutiful than free. Far more weary than filled with hope."

2006-10-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

The First Fall Experience of '06

Yesterday, I traveled to New Harmony, IN to experience that Fall beauty I wrote of earlier. I did happen upon some beautiful flowers and interesting houses from the 1800s, but the orange, yellow, brown and green colours I saw on my drive up there were quite scarce in this historic Indiana town. I did, however, manage to capture some beauty on my camera.

Pink Flower I caught in a garden

Sidewalk Leisure

I caught a glimpse of sunlight through the leaves

Fall Tree in my parent's backyard

2006-10-01T19:04:00.000-07:00

Thoughts and Reflections that Led Me Here

For the past year I have thought about counseling. I have a passion for people's hearts and I want to fight for them fiercely. So what to do with this desire? I feel like I've ran away from it for fear of trying something new. But recently I realized how much I let my fears drive me and to be honest, I'm just sick of it. Actually, it made me quite angry, but that's good. It takes courage to change when you know it's the right thing to do. God calls us to action, not passivity.

And so I find myself here, at this stage in my life, where I'm ready to stop waiting. I want to help teenagers through those rocky years of growing up and understanding who they really are, and a great place to do that is within the school system. I have done some research online for guidance counseling and my heart takes so much joy in thinking that my gifts will be used. It's an exciting discovery, and a scary one, as well. But if I just to continue to sit here, sitting on an old recliner I got for $25, typing away on a computer that I don't own, I'm not going to make it. I'm going to be a woman who never takes action after examining her own heart, and that's what kills the soul. I have learned so much in the past year alone about who I am as this woman and she's no longer the passive, weak girl who is too afraid to show passion or strength. I will fight for the things and the people in my life that matter, and I will not let my fears dictate my journey. I will be courageous and strong, and I will be God's Lovely, for He has named me so.

2006-09-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

The Scent of Fall

Today was a beautiful day. The sky was amazing with the bright blue sky peeking its way through puffy white clouds. The breeze was calming and exhilirating all at once, and with that breeze came the wonderful scent of Autumn. I love this season. It's a reminder that life is beautiful. I want to experience Fall this year, not just live through it. I want the long walks through multi-coloured foliage, the hoodies with a comfortable pair of jeans, the warmth of a bonfire. It is a wonderful transition into Winter, with its bright lights, Christmas trees, and snow fallen ground. I look forward to lying under my tree, staring up at the lights and dreaming of adventures. But first must come the felicity of Fall. I will smile at her welcome.

2006-09-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

When It Rains, It Pours

Early in June of this year, my sump pump failed twice which caused two "floods" in my basement. This week, it failed for the third time and although the amount of water was not as severe as the first two times, it was enough for me to decide to sell my house. It has been a blessing to me for the past three years or so and I have thanked God for it many times, but I know my heart wants a change. It's ready to move to a different city and have an adventure worth experiencing. But with a move most likely means a different job, so I have been thinking and praying about what it is I would like to take on next and quite honestly, I have no idea. I know that the timeline for life is not the same for each person, so me not knowing what to do with myself isn't uncommon at my age, but it is frustrating. So where to go and what to do are two questions I am facing and will continue to face during the upcoming months. But Fall is fastly approaching and I can't wait for the beauty of it all. I hope it will be an encouragement to me, as the changes in the season represent changes in my own life.

And I know I can take heart in knowing that God has redeemed my soul from the pit of emptiness. He is so much bigger than any job or city, and even if I'm feeling completely lost, I will be obedient and say, "Lord, you know my troubles and I call out to you for strength. You deserve my worship and my praise because you are still the same God. You haven't changed, even if my circumstances have." Don't be afraid, dear heart, to journey into the unknown. It is a place of mystery and intrigue. Let it captivate you.

Deuteronomy 33:12 "...Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders."

2006-09-08T15:22:00.000-07:00

New Car Smell--Perhaps It's Gas

So, check it. I just bought a 2000 Chrysler Sebring convertible from my uncle about two weeks ago. It's a really nice car and makes for a fun ride, and I got a really good deal on it, too. I took it to Carbondale on Sunday and when we got ready to head out for a nice evening of convertible top-down driving, things went awry. I smelled gas. I saw a circle of what appeared to be gas. And wouldn't you know it...it was gas! My fuel pump module was broken, so therefore there was a gas leak. I finally picked up my car on Wednesday and it's back to normal, but the lingering smell of fuel exists. It's like that episode of "Seinfeld" where Jerry got his car fixed and the mechanic had a massive case of BO that stuck in the car. He finally ended up just leaving it on the street and, lol (I'm envisioning the scene in my head now) he throws the keys to a vagabond and then throws his hands in the air. Jerry walked away, the dude got into the vehicle and after about six seconds, noticed the BO and couldn't take it. We never did find out what actually happend to the car. Gas...it's the new BO.

2006-09-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

"In A World Where Comedy Knows No Bounds..."

Check out a hilarious comedian below. The guy not only sounds exactly like Keanu Reeves and Arnold Swarchzeneger, but he has an uncanny vocal resemblance to the movie previews announcer. Pablo Fracisco--he's a lot of funny.

http://www.pablofrancisco.com/

2006-09-04T14:18:00.001-07:00

Traveling Down the Torn-Up Road

As my dad was driving me back from the airport where I had dropped off a rental car (story to come later), we started talking about all of the road construction in Evansville and Newburgh. For me, it's absolutely frustrating. Have we gotten so big and obssessed with business that we fix roads that don't need to be fixed? Or expand roads that don't need expasion? I was thinking about the recent construction on Lynch Road and Green River where some adwizard decided that we need bigger right-hand turn lanes. I thought, "I've never had to wait in a long line of cars due to the fact that the right-hand lane isn't big enough. And now I do have to wait in traffic because of lanes shut down." And my dad said that the city is thinking about expanding other roads. What the? Why mess with stuff that doesn't need to be messed with? I'm so tired of this worldly mindset of never having enough, or making work just to have work. This city...oh this city. It's wearing on me more and more. I'd like to move to a fictional town called Everwood, Colorado, where the roads are just fine the way they are and people actually take time to enjoy the great things in life.

2006-08-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

Old Chicago--There I Came, There I Went

Two weekends ago, Wes took me to downtown Chicago to meet up with some friends of his. It's a city I had always wanted to visit, but just never got around to doing it. Man, am I glad Wes likes to travel and see cool places. We went up this ginormous building which for the life of me I can't remember the name of. I think it was the John Hancock building, but I feel like I only think it was that building because it reminds me of a quote from "Tommy Boy." Either way, as we traveled to the 96th floor in a luxurious elevator, I had to continually pop my ears. It was funny--I had never seen such a fancy elevetor before and there was this dude in there with us. I think I said "wow" softly because he chuckled. He was probably thinking I must not get out much. But as we looked out through that skyrise, it was an amazing discovery. The big city in front of me and all that was between me and Chicago was some glass. Pretty cool stuff. The night before we went to this big outdoor concert park where we listened to The Goo Goo Dolls and Counting Crows. Although the f-bomb was thrown around like crazy, both bands were really enjoyable. And the rain didn't stop us from having a good time. Wes was kind enough to use the tarp/blanket we were sitting on as a raincoat. He's a smart one ;). And a big shout out to Andrew and Jen. They were such a blast and we all had a great time. All in all, Chicago was such an awesome place and I was so thankful I got to experience it. I'd go back...yeah, definitely.

2006-08-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

The Beauty Discovers Her Role

A while back, I spoke on the idea of pursuit and how men and women both have equally important, but quite different roles to play in that journey. If you recall, I reminded men that pursuing the women they want should never stop the moment they say "I do," but rather, should continue on through marriage just as Christ continues to pursue us every day. Now, for all the women who might take a quick glance at this post, I will speak to you.

I just read this chapter from a book sitting on my end table about the mystery of women and why we often give too much away too quickly. It got me thinking--have I given too much away too fast? Is it possible that perhaps the mystery of this green-eyed girl is not so much a mystery afterall? And yeah, I'm sure we all say too much. It's often the nature of a woman to want to communicate in depthly. It's just the way we are wired. But isn't part of the excitement of dating knowing that there's this person in front of you who you still discover new and awesome things about? So, ladies, part of our role in the great pursuit of a man is to keep the mystery. This doesn't, by any shape of the word, mean that you lie or keep important things from him. On the contrary, mystery is what reveals the truth. There are specific stages in a relationship where you give more and more of who you are to that other person. What's left to give if you give it all away in the beginning, right?

So some mystery equals good. We got that part. But that can't be all of our role. Thank goodness it's not. It's just the beginning.

When a man first pursues you, it is your role to show him he's doing a good job. This can be revealed through words or actions, but be sure both are very clear. The last thing you want is a date who isn't quite sure if you're feeling him or not. My friend said recently that her now husband just barely asked her out for their second date because he was unsure as to if she even wanted to be on the first one. Little touches or a simple, "This has been a really great date," will speak volumes to the man who feels as if he's being graded on every move he makes. Men need to be assurred they're doing a good job, and it is our role to both encourage them, and to let them know when they are not. Once you've past those first few encounters, have become boyfriend and girlfriend, and have gone into the realm of comfort, it is here where our role becomes tricky. We feel like we've landed our man and so our pursuit of the warrior stops. Men, do you want our pursuit of you to stop? Be honest. You enjoy it when your girl makes special gestures towards you, whether they be a sweet note from time to time, or a surprise kiss that just makes you melt. You like those moments when you feel as if you're still chasing after the woman you love. I suppose this is where mystery can play a factor, as well. So, when you get to this stage, be sure to keep the excitement and just keep him guessing. That looks different for each person, but be creative and keep that pursuit going.

I want to be sure those who read this know that the male and female roles in a relationship can not be summarized on a blog post. They can't even be summarized in the thousands of books that have been written on the topic. But I have learned a few things in this life and I know that each role is exciting and should be thought of as a continual process. Men, a woman desires her companion to never stop seeking her out because it reminds her that she is captivating and worth the pursuit. Women, a man desires a little mystery, a woman who will encourage and respect him because it reminds him that he's winning this race and you're there cheering him on. The cool thing about all of this is, you don't have to do the whole relationship thing on your own. You've got the One who invented pursuit right there with you. Who better to ask for advice on this journey than the God who longs more for relationships with us than we can even fathom?

2006-07-18T18:37:00.000-07:00

First Dates and a Random Guy Fishing by the River

I'm sure some of you have seen the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore flick "Fifty First Dates." Although I'm not a huge fan of Sandler, this movie isn't too bad. It provides one with ideas for first dates, so atleast it gives back to society, right? Having recently been on a first date with, let's just face it blog world, one of the most fantastic guys ever, I started thinking about what other first date options are out there. Let's review them here:

1. Ice skating--What better way is there to spend time with someone you like, but don't know very well, than by falling on your face as often as possible? Even better, when falling on your rear over and over again, you increase the likelihood of appearing as if you just wet yourself. I know I'm attracted a guy who walks like he just had a bowel movement.

2. Country Line Dancing--Nothing like the "Electric Slide" to put you in the mood for love. Hey guys, while you're going from side to side, you might want to consider the possibility that your lady friend is only thinking about whether or not she can actually date a guy who wears tight jeans. Yikes.

3. The Museum--Don't get me wrong. Museums are great places for learning and seeing works of art that take your breath away. But if either one of you are looking at a painting and thinking that the people in the picture are better looking than your date, you're in trouble.

4. A poetry reading--I love poetry. I like to write poetry. I even like to read it from time to time. Why not spend two hours of your life sitting in an uncomfortable chair in a dimly lit room, listening to metaphors and similes, alliteration and slant rhyme? Not only do you come away with a back ache and the ever occurring urge to squint your eyes, but you also have no idea what the heck you just spent two hours doing. Good times...good times.

Thankfully, I did none of these last Friday. We had dinner, took a nice walk by the river while the sun was setting and the sky was giving off all of those brilliant colours, shared in special moments and prayed together. We even saw some random dude fishing by the water--atleast it looked like fishing. So thanks be to Wes for not picking any of the above first date options. You did real good ;).

2006-06-30T16:15:00.000-07:00

The Funny Thing about Pursuit

In my almost twenty-seven years of life, I have realized that a man's pursuit comes when you least expect it. You may hope for it, pray for it, even have false perceptions that it's actually happening, but when the pursuit begins, you never saw it coming. All little girls dream of the moment when their Prince will come and rescue them. They stand by their window, hair flowing like water through the wind, as the man they only dreamt of comes valiantly to their side to fight for, care for and love them. And the guy, so excited that he has found a woman who captivates him, works so diligently to win the beauty. This is where the story gets interesting. Most men, according to a recent survey, believe that once they have won their girl, the pursuit is over. The work is done. Close up shop. Let's all go home early. Gentlemen, I have something that is going to make you think, possibly even make you go to your wife or girlfriend and apologize that you didn't see this before. The pursuit is never over. Even after fifty years of marriage, the pursuit is still desired, still sought after, and still so desperately needed.

Let's look at it from a Biblical perspective. No other person in the history of the world has shown his deepest desire for pursuit than Jesus. He died for the human race because he so desperately wanted us to be with him...forever. Not just for fifty years of wedded bliss plus extremely hard times thrown in there, but for eternity. And through eternity, he pursues us. Day in and day out, that pursuit is active and alive and breathing. Take Solomon's words in chaper 3 of Song of Songs, "All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. " Although the entire book of Songs is considered a love story from God to us, this verse should help us understand God's purest form of flattery--that he longs for us, loves us, and will go through bronze gates and iron bars to fight for us. And just as we are to become more like Jesus, should that not include the constant pursuit of those we love? Men, I speak to you here because I believe it is your role to pursue. Ladies, I will address our role in a later post (so be sure to check back in a week or two). I want to offer encouragement to the guys out there--women take pride in their men. We look at you with eyes of amazement as you show us your love and committment. We want to help you pursue us so it's not a losing battle. So as you begin to realize that God's pursuit of your own heart is so very important to him, it is my prayer that you begin to realize that the pursuit of your wife is also very important to him. It is a showcase of his continual molding in you to become more like his Son. And as we know, he is well pleased with Jesus.

The pursuit of a man is something that is very exciting to me and there are moments in my life, such as now, when discussing this amazing discovery is important. Whilst in the midst of the very thing I have just written, I want to remember that I have a role to play, too. Yes, God continually pursues me, but it is his heart's desire that I continually pursue him, as well. This will not only guide me in my relationship with Jesus, but with the very person who excites me just by saying my name.

2006-06-15T19:23:00.000-07:00

The Art of Jack Black

Ealier this year I sat in the theatre as a masterpiece in filmaking was reeling in front of me. I forgot to breath as giant slugs, spiders, and "Tremos"-like animals attempted to swallow people whole. I watched as a dozen people fought to survive battles in a mythic jungle, while one man fought to capture the greatest story ever told on film. I have talked to many people about "King Kong" and I neither understand their apathetic review of the movie, nor their lack of desire to see it as if it were a sequel to some Brittney Spears' show. I thought it was absolutely amazing. The acting, the special effects, even the Giant himself. They were all great and enough to get me to fork over $19 bucks to buy it on DVD. And the one man who I thought would crush the film's potential gave the best performance of all. I have never been a big fan of Jack Black. I always saw him as a comedic overachiever. He just tried to hard to be funny and often came up short. And although he did have a few humorous lines in the movie, it was his ability to make you dislike his character so much due to of his complete lack of safety for others, but still hope with everything you had that he captured Kong on film that impressed me. You wanted that camera he carried with him to survive at all costs. Jack Black became an actor in my eyes that day, and I respected him for it.

Not too long ago on a Sunday afternoon, I caught "School of Rock" on the TV and decided that I would give Black another opportunity to prove himself. And that he did. I was surprised that I actually liked the film. I was surprised that he can actually sing well, and that he's pretty awesome on the guitar. I was surprised that I laughed--he was funny without trying too hard to succeed. And so during this month, Black will be starring in "Nacho Libre." A story of a tired chef in a Mexican orphanage who moonlights as a wrestler to raise money for the orphans. It's directed by the man behind "Napolean Dynamite," so that's a good sign, right? And I actually want to see it! I shock myself with that statement, but it's true. I think that it actually looks funny. So I will pay my $8 dollars, grab a small bag of popcorn, and sit back to enjoy the art that is Jack Black--a chubby fella in blue tights, a red cape, and a Tom Selleck mustache.

2006-06-02T23:38:00.000-07:00

So Many Gallons, I Lost Count

I spent the last 4 hours drawing approximately 120 gallons of water from my basement floor tonight. I lost count after my mom, using my dad's wet vac, emptied an undetermined amount of water from his appliance. The kicker? I just had my carpet cleaned by Stanley Steamer earlier today. It was so nice to see the carpet looking new and smelling fresh and deoderized. And then I came home to see that the water was ten times worse than it was the first time. I really do give up at this point. I think I might just put one of those kiddy pools down there and enjoy the water for summer.

2006-05-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

Blue Merle is Back Again

A friend let me borrow "Burning in the Sun" a while back and after listening to the CD for the second time, I realized how amazing Blue Merle really was. I became a huge fan and they are, quite possibly, my favorite band, surpassing even the beloved Coldplay. But despite their phenomenal lyrics and awesome sound, the members of the band have decided to move on to solo projects. It saddens me that such musically talented people will not be producing any new albums together, but atleast they left us with a second taste of their greatness. You can dowload some live music off their website for free. Check them out at www.bluemerle.com. In the meantime, enjoy the band that was Blue Merle.

Boxcar Racer

I'm walking the streets
With my hands in my shoes
I'm out on a date with a picture of you
I got a boxcar racer
It's faster than the speed of sound
It takes me away from here

She's walking the streets
With her hands in her shoes
And she's in love with a boy
Who only gives her the blues
She loves the boxcar racer because
He's faster than the speed of sound
He takes her away from here

And if you look oh if you look
You'll find nothing at all
You'll find nothing at all
But if it's good oh if it's good
You'll find a love a great lover
If you let it go

So now I'm walking the streets
All alone in the night
I take alook at myself
And I kiss you goodbye but why?
I was a boxcar racer who was driving so
Fast that I couldn't slow down
I was running away from here
I was a boxcar racer who was driving so
Fast that I couldn't slow down
I was running away from here

2006-05-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

46 Gallons and Counting...

Upon returing home from my softball game last night, I found that the middle section of my basement was flooded. The carpet was not just wet, but water was actually standing atleast 1/2 ft above the carpet. And this is not clean water, folks. It came from the hole in the ground where my sump pump sits, pretending to do its job. I couldn't believe it. I got some small buckets to atleast collect some of the water, and then I just gave up. Overwhelmed is a word I am very familiar with these days. I had to run to Ace Hardware and fork out $45 for a Shop Vac, come home and assemble it, then begin the three hour job of getting 46 gallons of water out of my carpet. It's just a mess.

So, even before the flood, I've had a really strong desire to sell my house and move to a different state. I'm single, so nothing is keeping me from staying here except fear. I believe God has something much bigger for me than what I have currently. Something that, at this point, I'm not quite sure of, but I know He's calling me "somewhere" to do "something." I need to fill in the blanks, so I've been praying desperately that He give me some answers. I'm almost 27 and life has certainly not turned out the way I had planned. It hasn't even come close, so I think it's time I did something about it. I will keep you posted if I decide to change my geographical location. Just pray that I won't do it because I'm scared. Pray that I will do it because I've listened to my Father.

2006-05-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

Control, Alt, Delete

Lately, I have found myself with a strong desire to completely pound on my "control, alt, delete" buttons at work. A heavy sigh comes over me, I watch my index finger as it heads towards those three little keys, almost as if it were in slow motion in a really bad John Woo film, and then it happens. You Dilbert fans know what I'm talking about. The phone rings. "I need the status on this project ASAP." ASAP...post heed. However you want to say it, the acronym just makes you cringe. You know what I want ASAP? A day off each week, like the Europeans. Maybe an extra long chili dog with a guarantee that I won't gain five pounds. Or even better, a trip to Italy or some remote island paradise. What's the status on those projects, huh? I'd better get started on them. I don't want to end up like a bald comic icon in the newspaper.

2006-05-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

"Take it from me, kid. This one's gonna hurt."

So, sometimes life can be really cool and suck all at once. I'm not sure how that works, but I believe it has something to do with people being pretty self-involved. Today, I was self-invovled. My niece spent the night last night and we had a great time. We played, laughed, colored, watched "The Incredibles." But when she woke up at 5:30am, all I could think was, "Please, God...just a few more hours of sleep." Alas, that did not happen, nor did the nap I planned on taking in the afternoon. Stupid pile of laundry. But I got angry with myself because I have this opportunity to reflect a woman of God to someone who is at such an influential stage in her life, and all I could think about was myself. "I'm not good enough. You don't have anything to teach. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep." I know this was an attack and I fought through it today, but the attacks take their toll and sometimes I just give up.

I continued to think about myself throughout the evening because sometimes life is a lot harder than you believe it will be. I guess you can't prepare yourself enough for those moments of the long and arduous journey. But my friend reminded me of a very cool passage in Samuel. One where a woman is crying out to God because she's hurting so badly. She wants a son and believes herself to be worthy of motherhood, but it hasn't happened yet. So she continues to just pour out her heart and at the end of it all, she praises God. She gets up, eats something, and basically says that she knows God has heard her cry and has felt her heartache. She doesn't continue in the downtrodden state. She has faith that the Lord cares for her and wants the best for her. I need to remember this passage.

2006-05-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

Freshman

Countless times within the past year, I have heard the words "My Space" and "blog" thrown around like they've been in our language for centuries. As I usually do with all new technology, I looked at the blogging concept as silly and one in which I would not partake. However, as time progressed, I began to warm up to the idea of sharing my thoughts on movies, music, faith, and life with the small amount of people who will actually read my blog. I am a freshman here; not quite sure of myself, but willing to give it a try. I'm sure it won't always be exciting or creative, but it will be me and that's why I'm here.